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Italy were too afraid to play a World Cup qualifying playoff at San Siro, hosting their semi-final against Northern Ireland in Bergamo instead. Gennaro Gattuso explained it as a choice to protect his players, noting that the nation’s biggest football stadium was home to two rival clubs – Milan and Internazionale – and suggesting this dynamic might lead fans there to turn more quickly on players who struggled.

Instead, on Sunday, it was San Siro that offered comfort to one who has become the scapegoat for yet another collective failure. Italy made it past Northern Ireland only to lose to Bosnia on penalties in Zenica. Alessandro Bastoni’s first-half red card, at a time when his country were winning 1-0, was a pivotal moment in the game and perhaps his entire career.

He had already been cast as a villain in his home country after February’s Derby d’Italia, when he got Pierre Kalulu sent off by diving. The Inter defender’s greater sin, for many supporters, was the way he celebrated the success of this deception, pumping his fists and roaring after his opponent was unfairly dismissed.

Since then, he has been jeered and whistled each time he touches the ball in every away game for Inter. Even at Lecce, a club whose supporters have no traditional rivalry with the Nerazzurri, and Como’s Stadio Sinigaglia, Bastoni was targeted relentlessly.

Was it all a little out of proportion? Bastoni apologised at a press conference a few days after the Juventus game, acknowledging he had exaggerated the contact with Kalulu and calling his reaction to the red card “really ugly”. Still, did that justify the death threats he said had been sent to his wife, Camilla Bresciani, on social media?

Even among those who agree things have been taken too far, there will be plenty who view his red card in Bosnia as some form of karma. And others who care less about the national team than their club side in any case, but who will gladly accept this opportunity to get under the skin of an opponent.

There are echoes of David Beckham’s sending off against Argentina at the 1998 World Cup, even if none of Italy’s newspapers have gone so far as to publish Bastoni’s face as the bullseye on a dartboard. It appears increasingly likely that the defender will seek a fresh start away from his home country this summer, with Barcelona showing strong interest.

For now, though, he remains an Inter player. A banner was hung by ultras outside the club’s training ground on Saturday for Bastoni, and perhaps also his Italy teammates Federico Dimarco, Nicolò Barella, Davide Frattesi and Pio Esposito – who missed the opening penalty in the Bosnia shootout – with the message: “Heads up and fear nothing. You have your people beside you.”

They faced a crucial game at home to Roma one day later. Inter, who appeared to have the Serie A title in the bag when they led the division by 10 points at the start of March, had since suffered a major wobble, winning none of their four games last month. After drawing against Como in the first leg of their Coppa Italia semi-final, they lost to Milan then drew with Atalanta and Fiorentina in Serie A.

A defeat this weekend would have opened the door for Milan or Napoli – who face each other on Monday – to close the gap to three or four points respectively. Roma, sixth in the table, arrived highly motivated by their own pursuit of a Champions League spot.

Only Como had conceded fewer goals in Serie A than the Giallorossi this season. But Inter punctured their defence within 60 seconds, Marcus Thuram gliding past Evan Ndicka from the right and rolling the ball to the near corner of the six-yard box, where Lautaro Martínez arrived to crash it into the roof of the net.

A reminder of where Inter’s real strength lies? Lautaro, Serie A’s top scorer this season, had been out of action since February with a calf injury. Thuram, whose own performances have dipped this season and especially in the last couple of months, said he had missed having the Argentinian alongside him.

“Pio [Esposito] and [Ange-Yoan] Bonny are really important,” he noted. “But it’s true that I have a particular connection with Lauti and the rest of the team does too. He’s our captain, he leads by example.”

Roma equalised with a well-constructed move shortly before half-time, Matías Soulé feeding Devyne Rensch down the left, who stood up a cross for Gianluca Mancini to head home. They deserved to be level, having worked their way back into the game and went close again through Donyell Malen.

But Inter got back in front almost immediately, Hakan Calhanoglu scoring a goal of the season contender from 30 yards. His shot rose, then dipped and swerved to give Mile Svilar no hope whatsoever. If anyone was going to have the confidence to try something a little special perhaps it had to be Calhanoglu. Out of seven Inter players called up for World Cup qualifying playoffs, the Turkey captain was the only one who finished up on a winning team.

Thuram set up Lautaro for another goal at the start of the second half, before heading in a Calhanoglu corner to make it 4-1. Shortly afterward, Inter made a double substitution, withdrawing Bastoni and Lautaro to a standing ovation.

As the Italian reached the sideline, the crowd at San Siro started to sing his name, loudly and insistently. Perhaps Gattuso was correct that the audience here for an Italy game would have been different. But here Bastoni was reminded that his own club’s fans are still grateful for his contributions to two Serie A titles already this decade, and the now more steady-looking pursuit of a third this season.

There was time yet for two more goals. Barella punished defensive sloppiness from a punch-drunk Roma to run through and score his first since October. When he emerged from underneath a pile of teammates, the midfielder went to find Bastoni on the sideline for a hug.

Roma pulled one back, Lorenzo Pellegrini finding the bottom corner after the ball ran to him when Malen was dispossessed on the edge of the Inter area. But the 5-2 final scoreline might have flattered them by the end – Esposito and Denzel Dumfries each missing good chances to extend Inter’s advantage.

It was a better result than most Inter fans could have dreamt of in a week when so many players – Poland’s Piotr Zielinski included – wore the weight of international disappointments. Christian Chivu had spoken for Bastoni before the game, saying the player had left on crutches after suffering a tibia bruise and ankle injury against Milan and suggesting his country should be grateful for his efforts to take part in the playoff at all.

That line might only lead a heartbroken nation to question whether he should have been left out, asking if a fitter player might have done better. Any small redemption Bastoni and his teammates achieved this weekend belongs only to Inter, not to Italy. If anything, it might only deepen rival fans’ sense of resentment.

There are no words – or even deeds, in the short-term at least – that can salve the wound of three consecutive missed World Cups. But Sunday’s win was a big one for Inter. And if they do go on to win the league this season, then Bastoni will have played his part.

Monday’s fixtures: Udinese v Como, Lecce v Atalanta, Juventus v Genoa, Napoli v Milan