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The last time I wrote about refugees, I kept getting a certain type of comment. That people like my parents were the right kind of refugee. The good ones. Deserving of a place in Australia.

On Sunday, as I watched Australia play Turkey in the World Cup among a crowd gathered in Melbourne’s Federation Square, I wondered if the same standard would be applied. Then Nestory Irankunda scored the first of two world-class goals. Turkey, despite having possession of the ball for most of the match, lost. The crowd went wild.

“Nestory Irankunda, have my children!” one fan roared.

“This is for the real Aussies,” another commented under a Guardian Australia video. “Just awesome Aussies getting behind our team.”

This was a moment of Australian exceptionalism. It’s part of a narrative we often hear, that our nation is the world’s most successful multicultural society. Irankunda, Mohamed Touré and Harry Souttar. Their stories as varied as the lands they come from. Exceptional stories. Exceptional talents.

It makes me wonder: do we only celebrate because they are exceptional? What if they had not overcome impossible odds and lost? I’m thinking of Marcus Rashford, Jadon Sancho and Bukayo Saka at the Euro 2020 final. After their misses in the penalty shootout, England were defeated by Italy. Though all three are English-born, the loss triggered a torrent of vitriol. One man was jailed for the rants he posted online. Prince William said he was “sickened by the racist abuse”.

One Nation’s ascendence in the polls sends a shudder down my spine. Pauline Hanson is tapping into real anxieties about housing and the cost of living to scapegoat migrants. It’s not the first time. Two years before I was born her target was my fellow Asian Australians. Australia was being “swamped by Asians”, she said, who “formed ghettoes” and “do not assimilate”.

Today many treat a trip to Cabramatta as a cultural and culinary experience but it wasn’t too long ago that the Vietnamese refugees who settled in the south-west Sydney suburb after the Vietnam war were struggling to deal with the trauma of losing their country, homes and livelihoods.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been told to keep my head down and work hard. We would achieve success by being meek and studious. It’s a pernicious myth that you have to be the model minority to be accepted.

Our communities are as complex as they are diverse. We must celebrate the wins – the hopes and dreams we bring to Australia – but equally we must defend multicultural Australia from those who want to send immigrants “home”.

The love our country has for Irankunda makes me want to cry. It’s so beautiful. The energy of that World Cup win could turn anyone into a football fan. But we have to remind ourselves that Irankunda is only 20 years old. Despite his incredible talent, it is unfair and unrealistic to place the fate of multicultural Australia on his shoulders.

Australia face the United States next. Another match where we will be the underdog. A nail-biter for sure. But win or lose, those who represent us deserve celebration.

• Bertin Huynh is a multimedia journalist and producer for Guardian Australia