Jacob Steinberg was at the Gtech Community Stadium. Here’s his report. Thanks for reading this MBM.

Keith Andrews talks to Sky Sports. “As good as I was feeling about where we were, you never truly know … so I’m really happy with what we produced … it was us from the first whistle … intensive … relentless … individual quality and personality … but underlined with that togetherness that we have in abundance … I think [Mamadou Sangaré] is a top player, the one we were after in the window … he deserves a lot of credit … he could have gone elsewhere for a few more bob but he recognised this would be a good place for him to come … he’s settled quite nicely! … when you bring in a really good player, it brings the level of the team up … that’s not to underestimate what we already had … it’s a long, long season and we need strength in depth … there are going to be bumps in the road … we’re going to try to enjoy the journey … the plan is to get better … keep pushing … keep striving … today is just the start hopefully.”

Archie Gray, who at 20 became Tottenham’s youngest-ever captain this evening, fronts up on Sky. “It was simple really … we lost too many duels … they just outfought us all over the park … we need to watch it back … for whatever reason we weren’t up for the fight as they were … that’s on us … the fans were incredible and for us to let them down like that on the first game, there’s not really words for it … we need to bounce back from that … I don’t think there’s any excuses to be honest … we’ll all look ourselves in the mirror.”

Roberto De Zerbi speaks to Sky. “We suffered the physicality … we knew that before the game … we were not ready to fight in the duels … we made a lot of mistakes in the timing of the pressure … with Mikey Moore on the left … we arrived too many times late … then we lost too many duels to compete with Brentford … I am sorry for that … I am sorry for the defeat … we have to improve our physical condition … in the organisation … there were many new players … it is the first game … a part of our journey … we knew before the game … too many … a lot of new players … to become a team … there was the soul … but in the end we didn’t fight in the right way … Brentford is one of the most important teams in the Premier League in terms of duels … we were not in the right position to make the pressure … like I said, with Mikey Moore … if you analyse the game, you can see how many duels we lost in the first half … we didn’t play well … we didn’t fight in the right way … all the players are good people … the first XI was able to compete … I don’t lose confidence in my players … we have to work … improve … analyse better to find the improvement … we cannot destroy everything because we are working well … we are improving the physical condition for sure … we need to find the spirit to fight … I did not expect this result but I knew the problems.”

The final xG: Brentford 3.96, Tottenham Hotspur 0.47. As for the table … well, it might not mean too much at the moment, but try telling that to Brentford, because they’re joint top with the champions. Spurs fans meanwhile are advised to concentrate on the first clause of that statement. There’s a long way to go, and plenty of time for everyone to get to know each other.

Post-match postbag. “It will be lost amongst everything else that’s been going on, but the decision to not give a penalty to Brentford right before their third goal is horrendous. Basically Oliver and VAR have now said this season shirt pulling is allowed. Except you know that’s not how it works and next week someone will get a pen for the slightest of tugs. The inconsistency is what aggravates me the most” – Espen B

“Bentancur helpfully ensuring Romero isn’t missed. What a team player!” – Matt Dony

“Any player coming to Spurs, whether he’s a big signing or just a ground staff boy, must be dedicated to the game and to the club. He must never be satisfied with his last performance, and he must hate losing” – Bill Nicholson (via Grant Tennille)

“The mistaken identity incident was certainly more baffling than the abject Dundee United performance which sadly has become commonplace under Jim Goodwin. The opening-day draw against Rangers has been followed by two 4-0 defeats and now this. I’m sensing a shoogly peg” – Simon McMahon (whose beloved Dundee United lost the Dundee derby 2-0)

Nathan Collins talks to Sky Sports. “We wanted to fucking … sorry! … show people what we’re made of … last season it hurt, we were one point off [Europe] … this year we’ve added quality … good people to the squad.” Collins is then asked about Mamadou Sangaré, who is standing next to him. He grins and quips: “He’s alright! He started OK, huh? We want more from him though! More goals, more tackles, huh?!” Both players grinning widely, big buddies already.

Then it’s Sangaré’s turn to speak. “It’s really good … since my first day here, everybody was really good with me … so it’s good to start with a win … I hope we can continue like that … it’s everything I can say, really!” Sangaré is then given the player of the match award, and charms the nation: “I think this is for all the team, everyone worked hard … but thank you, thank you, thank you!” To repeat: a new Premier League star is born.

Roberto De Zerbi goes over to clap the Spurs fans. He has the good grace to look sheepish. He doesn’t get much back, and one punter in a Spurs top stands, arms spread out, palms up, top lip kinked quizzically, the internationally recognised pose for What The Eff Was That?! But while this story can’t not be about Tottenham – they were abysmal, and everything’s gong to be viewed through the lens of their summer spending spree – it really should be mainly Brentford focused. The Bees were superb to a man, though one stood out, the debutant Mamadou Sangaré, who modestly claps the Brentford support before being shoved forward by Michael Kayode, who makes sure his new mate receives his flowers. What a cheer Sangaré’s given! And he’s worth it, having set up two goals and buzzed around a pitch that he quickly made his own. A new Premier League star is born.

90 min +4: On Sky, Alan Smith names Mamadou Sangaré as his player of the match. There can be no complaints. What a debut.

90 min +3: The resulting corner is punched clear by Kinsky, then sent sailing miles over the bar by Yarmoliuk.

90 min +2: Lewis-Potter juggles his way down the left, past Bentancur with ease, before winning a corner off Robertson.

90 min +1: Wilson scampers down the right and shoots from a tight angle. Van Hecke diverts the shot into the side netting. The resulting corner is headed harmlessly wide right by Schade.

90 min: There will be four additional minutes.

88 min: Wilson gets the better of Tonali down the right. That was too easy. He crosses for Schade, who attempts a cute backflick. Too cute. Too far out to be trying that. Spurs clear.

87 min: Maddison slithers into the Brentford box from the left. It’s a positive run, and he’s within his rights to shoot from a tight angle, but he cuts back for Solanke instead, and his team-mate’s shot is blocked.

86 min: Gray, who became Tottenham’s youngest-ever captain this afternoon, is replaced by Udogie. For the record, and for what it’s worth, the armband is passed on to Maddison.

85 min: Damsgaard swings a corner in from the left. Kinsky gathers. Spurs will be desperate to hear the full-time whistle.

84 min: Wilson comes on for Thiago.

82 min: Tel has a whack from distance. It’s not good. Miles wide left. Meanwhile there’s more on the Dundonian stramash, courtesy of Stephen McCrossan: “The ‘mistaken identity’ booking in the Dundee derby was baffling. The Dundee player was apparently booked for standing on the ball. Hilarious.” Ha! Shades of Hearts winger Tommy Murray “having a seat” against Rangers back in the day. A story worth revisiting …

80 min: This game is petering out, which is probably the best Spurs can hope for. The same can’t be said for events north of the border, as Simon McMahon reports: “A lot of effing and jeffing at Tannadice as Dundee score again. It could always be worse I suppose. I could be a Spurs fan.”

78 min: Janelt is booked for a flagrant tug on Maddison.

77 min: Schade makes good down the right and finds Thiago at the near post. The striker flicks wide under pressure from Senesi. Brentford in search of a fourth.

76 min: … Anthony, on the edge of the D, slices harmlessly over. At which point the new boy Sangare is replaced, departing to a great ovation. A hero is born. He earns a big hug from his manager too. Kayode also departs, Hickey and Damsgaard entering.

75 min: Brentford continue to look lively, Anthony worming his way down the right and earning a throw. Kayode flings it long. Kinsky punches under pressure, and the ball pings out for a corner. From which …

73 min: Was that the first time the word “Jeff” has been used in three consecutive MBM entries? Not sure. Anyway, it’s four now.

72 min: Ah, here go the Brentford fans with “You’re getting sacked in the morning”. Jeff Necessary (69 min) got there just in time.

71 min: Sangare sashays into the Spurs box from the left and takes a whack. His shot is deflected, the sting removed. But he continues to impress on debut. Meanwhile in the dugout, De Zerbi holds his head in his hands, before ranting, half at his assistant, half to himself, at high speed and with some passion, presumably using words including Eff and Jeff.

69 min: Anthony bustles down the right and crosses for Schade, whose header flies straight to Kinsky. “It’s too late for the season’s first ‘you’ll be sacked in the morning’,” begins Jeff Necessary. “Enzo Maresca got that at Cardiff last week. But De Zerbi may not be far behind.”

68 min: Spurs respond by switching out Moore and Richarlison for Maddison and Solanke.

67 min: Brentford make a double change, replacing Jensen and Ouattara with Yarmoliuk and Anthony.

65 min: Schade chases after a long ball down the right and is clipped by Bentancur. The referee absurdly waves play on, which if nothing else means he doesn’t have a decision to make, because Spurs were very light at the back and Schade was preparing to romp into all sorts of space.

63 min: … and from the resulting corner, Van Hecke falls over, claiming a penalty he’s never going to get. Goal kick.

62 min: Lewis-Potter misjudges Fernandes’s diagonal pass to Moore on the right. A fresh-air swipe, and suddenly Moore is one on one with the keeper! But he shoots straight at Kelleher, who nevertheless does well to turn the ball around the post.

60 min: Tonali slips a pass down the left to release Robertson, who can’t find Richarlison with his cutback. Brentford then collectively butcher a three-on-two counter. It’s an open game, and that probably doesn’t augur well for the visitors.

58 min: Tonali scuffs a shot from 25 yards. Easy for Kelleher. The xG is currently 3.19 to Brentford, 0.27 to Spurs.

57 min: Spurs go up the other end and win a corner down the left. It’s their first of the match. Tel swings it in, and the offside flag goes up. The penalty miss is pretty much all that’s gone right for Spurs so far. As for the Dundee derby … “It’s all kicking off at Tannadice,” reports Simon McMahon. “1-0 to Dundee, and some mistaken identity VAR nonsense just before half time. To be honest I’ve no idea what’s going on, but hey, what’s new?”

52 min: Spurs try to summon a response, Robertson making good down the left and crossing low for Moore, who finds himself one on one with Kelleher. But he shoots straight at the keeper, who parries before claiming.

51 min: This is some debut from Sangare, who now has two assists to his name.

50 min: On the touchline, Roberto De Zerbi fixes his stare on an imaginary point exactly 1,000 yards in the distance.

47 min: Sangare piles down the left and crosses dangerously. Janelt prepares to head home but Van Hecke heads clear. Kayode throws long, and Senesi grabs a fistful of Collins’ shirt. As the ball’s blocked out for a corner, VAR has a look, but no penalty. Senesi was taking a big risk there, considering the new rules.

Brentford get the second half underway. Spurs have made two changes, replacing Bergvall and Gallagher with Fernandes and Bentancur. Spurs now have five debutants on the pitch.

The reports are in from the earlier Premier League games. Get clicking, but don’t forget to come back now.

Hull City 2-0 Manchester United
Everton 2-0 Crystal Palace
Ipswich Town 2-1 Sunderland
Nottingham Forest 0-1 Leeds United

Half-time postbag: Spurs sorrow special. “Have to say Spurs look absolutely miles off it so far although Brentford have been excellent. If anything, this looks as bad as last season’s Spurs. At least there are 37 games left to improve” – Martin Gamage

“Last season Spurs were lousy, and they will not be better this season, just like Manchester United. It is an utter disgrace, and also a reflection on society, that players like Tonali are bought for 100 million and yet so many people live in poverty in England” – Jeff Sax

“Gotta admire Tottenham’s resilience; despite failing to get relegated two years on the bounce they finally look like a proper Championship team” – Dave Estherby

“In the as-it-stands table, Spurs are currently 17th. The more things change…” – Kári Tulinius

“Dear old Spurs. I’m sure we all wish them well, but perhaps if they’re to be humbled again this season, better it be kept out of sight? Sympathetic MBMers would, I think, be happier were you to devote the afternoon entirely to, say, Simon McMahon’s posts from the Dundee derby. Probably also Spurs supporters” – Charles Antaki

(It’s goalless at Tannadice at the moment.)

45 min: Ouattara barrels down the left and crosses for Kayode, who rises over Tel with ease but sends his header from six yards wide left. So close to number three. There will be one added minute.

43 min: … so having said that, almost immediately the hosts pile forward, Ouattara buying a ticket for the raffle from 25 yards. Just over the bar, though Kinsky had it covered.

42 min: Spurs have stemmed the bleeding if nothing else. Brentford have been pretty quiet in attack since going two up.

40 min: Gallagher, Tonali and Richarlison play some cute passes down the inside right; they feed Bergvall whose shot is blocked and cleared. Spurs come again, Tonali sending a speculative shot miles wide right. Better from Spurs, albeit with their floor having been set very low.

38 min: Tonali, a £100m summer signing, gifts the ball to Ouattara under no pressure whatsoever. That just about sums up Tottenham’s afternoon to this point.

36 min: Some pinball in the Spurs box. Ouattara’s shot is blocked by Van Hecke, who wins a free kick in the process. Spurs hanging on now. “We’re gonna win the league,” trill the Brentford fans, before segueing into “Down with the Fulham”. The Brentford fans en fête.

34 min: Spurs are rattled. Kinsky should have done better with Jensen’s shot. And now Gallagher is booked for a frustrated trip on Kayode.

31 min: Richarlison tries to release Bergvall down the middle, Spurs having put together a few quickfire passes to force Brentford on the back foot. But Ajer reads the danger and intercepts. Brentford counter, Thiago chasing a flick-on down the left and crossing low for Ouattara, who should shoot first time but takes a touch that allows Kinsky to make the save. “What a well-worked Brentford goal!” writes Peter Oh. “The Spurs defenders were spellbound, as if witness to never-before-seen combinations in never-before-seen spaces. (It took me 30 seconds to write that.)”

29 min: Ouattara is sent tumbling by Senesi out on the right. A free kick. Jensen curls the ball towards the penalty spot; Kayode skims a weak header wide left. That’s Brentford’s tenth touch in the opposition box; Spurs have had just the one.

27 min: Thiago isn’t far away from closing down Kinsky, but the keeper kicks clear just in time. Memories of Atletico Madrid never far away.

26 min: Roberto De Zerbi comes to the touchline and claps his hands, half by way of encouragement, half in frustration. The xG is currently Brentford’s 0.66 to Tottenham’s 0.05.

25 min: Van Hecke tries to find Moore out on the right but only succeeds in blootering the ball out for a goal kick. [SFX: ironic cheering]

23 min: Kayode faffs around near his own corner flag, allowing Tel to steal the ball off him. He’s very fortunate that Spurs, to a man, decide to go backwards. Bergvall eventually floats a poor cross in from the left. Goal kick. Kayode breathes a sigh of relief.

21 min: Lewis-Potter slides a low diagonal ball in from the left. Ouattara nearly gets onto it, but Robertson covers and ushers the ball back to his keeper. Great last-ditch defending by the veteran left-back, because Ouattara was one on one with Kinsky otherwise.

19 min: A diagonal comes into the Spurs box from the left. Collins flicks it back infield for Ajer, who shuttles it to the far stick. Thaigo should score from a couple of yards, but somehow heads against the bar. A huge escape for Spurs, who were all over the shop there. The flag eventually goes up for offside, though VAR might have had some work to do had Thiago converted the chance.

17 min: Right now, Brentford look like a settled team, Spurs a bunch only recently thrown together. Which, well, y’know. These things take time.

15 min: … or maybe not. Tel dribbles a weak free kick towards the bottom left. Kelleher saunters over and, in his own time, throws his cap on it.

14 min: … but nobody’s perfect, and now Sangare clumsily hangs out a leg and brings down Richarlison, 25 yards out, just to the left of centre. Danger here.

13 min: That was such a sweet move. This here Sangare has got something all right. Lovely assist, the pass picked out perfectly.

10 min: A bit of space in the pocket for Gallagher, 30 yards out. He curls a shot 30 yards wide of the top-right corner, and 30 yards high to boot. The home fans ask him what that was via the medium of robustly-worded song.

8 min: Lewis-Potter skins Gray down the left and crosses low. Jensen tries to connect at the near post. He misses, but Van Hecke slices wide right. Janelt takes the corner from the right, and Sangare heads harmlessly over from a tight angle on the left. This is a really bright start by Brentford.

6 min: That was a good burst from Brentford, who looked dangerous in every phase of play. They’ve already had five attempts on goal, one way or another.

4 min: … the ball’s played out to Lewis-Potter, who volleys towards the bottom left. The ball hits Gallagher. On the arm? That’s what Brentford claim, but they’re not getting the penalty. Play goes on, and Jensen crosses from the left. Janelt, inexplicably left alone, six yards out, flaps a header wide left.

3 min: Jensen whips the free kick hard towards the near post. Robertson has to do something, and glances the ball over the bar. And from the corner …

2 min: Schade dribbles dangerously down the left before being crudely checked by Van Hecke. A bit later in the game, and that was surely a booking. The referee allows him one. But it’s a free kick near the corner flag.

Spurs get the game going. Within 20 seconds, Robertson’s cross from the left is claimed by his former Liverpool buddy Kelleher.

The teams are out! Brentford wear their red and white stripes, while Spurs are in their blue, pink, purple and many more colours away kit. According to the marketing blurb, which presumably took upwards of 30 seconds to write, these are “never-before-seen visuals inspired by never-before-seen destinations”. They haven’t even tried to make anything up. No spurious allusions to local industry, significant figures, bus routes? Proper feet-on-the-desk vibes there. Anyway, we’ll be off in a minute.

Roberto De Zerbi speaks to Sky. “We have big confidence because all three [debut defenders] are very important players with experience and qualities … we have no problem with them … [Archie Gray, stand-in captain for the day] is very young but has a big personality … he deserves to be captain today … we do not have the complete squad today … but no excuses … the quality is enough to complete … [Brentford] have a clear style … very strong … we have to adapt … the Premier League is a very tough competition and we have to play in our way.”

Pre-match postbag. “What are the expectations of Spurs this season? Normally you’d look at a team that was coming off back-to-back 17th-place finishes and think that having a mid-table season without any danger of relegation would be considered pretty good (a bit like Everton the year before last). But if the Marmoush signing goes through then they’ll have spent almost £400m, and could exceed that before the transfer window closes. That’s following two or three seasons where they’ve hardly been as frugal as in Daniel Levy’s peak years (lots of players in the £40m-60m-ish bracket). I know it sounds ridiculous following the last couple of years but how can a club spend that amount of money and not demand to be at least challenging for the title?” – David Wall

“What a summer it’s been as a Norwegian Spurs supporter. Could not ask for more. But now, on matchday one, the defeatism is back and I find myself speculating on who our next manager will be. It will probably be January 2028 when De Zerbi loses it because the owners refuse to buy him a £160 million, 450k a week striker. Maybe Xabi Alonso, Andoni Iraola or Enzo Maresca is available then. Or maybe we get David Moyes to safely guide us to 11th place and a semi-final in the Conference League. At least the vibes rollercoaster isn’t stuck in an infinite loop of gloom because I’m sure there will be good times as well. Here and there, now and then we will be happy” – Martin Bolme

“Greetings from Frews Bar in Dundee. Whisky and pints a go-go. Only one game in the Scottish Premier today, but it’s a biggie. Dundee United v Dundee at Tannadice. The Dundee derby. Tangerine and Black v Dark Blue. United hold the bragging rights after they spanked their city rivals 3-0 in the last derby back in April. Same again today please. Kick off is in half an hour. As somebody once said, IT’S ON! COME ON UNITED!!!” – Simon McMahon

Brentford boss Keith Andrews talks to Sky Sports, and he’s very excited to be giving Mamadou Sangaré his debut. “This pre-season has been pretty settled compared to 12 months ago … that doesn’t guarantee anything of course … we’re not taking the season lightly … today’s a good example of that … a very talented set of players and a very experienced coach … [Sangaré] has settled in pretty quickly, smoothly … he’s started in a really good fashion … he’s added a little bit of steel … he’s a throwback for me in terms of not being pigeonholed … he can do a bit of everything.”

Those wishing to discover more about the much-heralded Mamadou Sangaré are directed here …

… while all pre-match matters Spurs are also just a click away.

The way we see it. Take one last look before potential collides with reality.

All of the early kick-offs have finished. Here are the results …

Hull City 2-0 Manchester United
Everton 2-0 Crystal Palace
Ipswich Town 2-1 Sunderland
Nottingham Forest 0-1 Leeds United

… and for what it’s worth (not very much, but don’t listen to the fun police) here’s how the Premier League table looks after 0.5 of a matchday.

Just the one debut for Brentford this afternoon: the aforementioned Mali midfielder Mamadou Sangaré.

Tottenham by contrast have four debutants in their starting XI: Sandro Tonali, Andy Robertson, Jan Paul van Hecke and Marcos Senesi. Matheus Fernandes and 17-year-old attacking midfielder Lucá Williams-Barnett are both debut-adjacent, sat waiting on the bench. The new club captain Micky van de Ven is out injured.