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A SLOT OF BOTHER (AND THEN SOME)

While the good news for Liverpool is that they get to play Paris Saint-Germain again next week, the bad news is that they get to play Paris Saint-Germain again next week. Having spent much of his time in England bemoaning the cowardice of opposition teams who sit deep against his side, there was a certain irony in seeing Liverpool’s head coach embrace the negative tactics he has so often pooh-poohed during his side’s 2-0 evisceration at the hands of the reigning Bigger Cup holders in Paris. On a night when Liverpool had just 28% possession, registered zero shots on target and hoped for the best at a couple of Joe Gomez long throws, Arne Slot was at least treated to a masterclass on how best to overcome the kind of “anti-football” he has long lamented.

After two consecutive thrashings that suggested any residual heavy-metal football from the Jürgen Klopp era has now made way for its elevator-music equivalent, Slot offered up no excuses and admitted he had flown in the face of his own purist philosophy in an attempt to keep the tie alive for the second leg. While a faint pulse remains, its presence is down to a combination of the heroics of the game’s second-best Georgian, some generous refereeing and some really quite atrocious PSG finishing rather than anything achieved by Liverpool’s snake-belly low block. “They ripped us apart at times,” wailed Slot in a series of sombre post-match debriefs. “Every tactic has been tried over here, but the result is always the same, with Paris Saint-Germain blowing the opponent away. They have so many weapons and it makes them so difficult to play against. We were in survival mode, but they kept us alive by missing their chances.”

Of course, it is not unprecedented for Liverpool to pull off near miraculous Bigger Cup comebacks at Anfield against teams featuring forwards in full-on barn door-banjo mode. But Wednesday night’s events suggest that despite the failure of Ballon d’Or-winner Ousmane Dembélé and assorted teammates to finish off their visitors, the current incarnation of PSG ought to have very little to worry about next Tuesday. In the aftermath of this humbling, PSG’s metronomic midfield maestro Vitinha patiently waited pitchside for Liverpool substitute Trey Nyoni to finish his post-match warm-down so the duo could exchange shirts. It was the nearest any player in red had got to the diminutive Portuguese all night.

Despite being outclassed, Liverpool remain in this tie and for the return leg on Merseyside, Virgil van Dijk has called upon fans to do their best to make it one of those cliched Anfield nights. “I’ve been through many special evenings at Anfield,” he reminisced. “I’m very lucky and privileged. And our fans, that’s the backbone of the club and hopefully they can be there for us again.” While it is likely to take more than a stirring rendition of a Carousel closing number sung by already disgruntled fans to get their team back in this tie, the evidence thus far suggests Liverpool’s players will need all the help they can get to turn things around. Whatever the outcome next week – and Football Daily can see only one – it seems little more than a matter of time before the club hierarchy pull the plug on this malfunctioning Slot machine.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Taha Hashim from 8pm BST for hot Bigger Vase quarter-final, first-leg action from Bologna 1-1 Aston Villa, while Will Unwin will be on deck at the same time for Porto 2-1 Nottingham Forest.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“It’s the club that invented football and I don’t think that story has been told adequately or correctly. I didn’t even know the club was a thing until I was about 18 years old and I’m a football fan. It’s been a historic problem for the city of Sheffield that we don’t shout about ourselves or tell our own fables in the way the Mancs do or scousers do” – Reverend and the Makers frontman Jon McClure gets his chat on about becoming the new chair of Sheffield FC.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

This is a great, great PSG side. But take it first hand from me, the Championship Manager 97-98 squad of Patrice Loco, Rai et Florian Maurice was (and remains) a joy to coach – simply a winning machine in attacking 4-4-2. Fitting to see a team with such rich history continuing to dominate” – Alexander McMillan.

Enjoyed your celebration of Michael Olise’s ‘unstoppable one-man insurgency’ against Real Madrid (yesterday’s Football Daily) – he really is quite good. But why does he have to be ‘the former Crystal Palace winger’ rather than, say, ‘the Reading academy discovery’. Olise’s estimable talents may go on to achieve many things (including quite plausibly Bigger Cup and the Geopolitics World Cup this year), but the most consequential is surely saving one of England’s oldest clubs through the sell-on clause to Bayern Munich” – David Gilbert.

I wouldn’t call Nike’s problems with the shoulder seams on the GWC shirts uncharacteristic (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). When they took over MLB uniforms in 2024, the new designs’ pants became transparent after a couple innings’ sweat and shredded on the first slide, which, to be fair, is only something baseball players have done for 150 years” – Josh Crockett.

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … David Gilbert. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

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RECOMMENDED DONATING

Barry is running the London Landmarks Half-Marathon on Sunday to raise money for the Great Ormond Street hospital children’s charity. He’s already more than quadrupled his original target of £13,100 but would be grateful for any more donations in the last few days before the race because, well, it’s a brilliant cause and here at Football Daily Towers we think he needs every bit of motivation he can get. If you can, donate here.

SCREAM CHOLO TO THE SKY

Diego Simeone is very probably the best-paid manager in world football. With an annual salary reportedly in the £30m ball-park, he’s well clear of Pep Guardiola at Manchester City. Even Simone Inzaghi, the Scudetto-winning former manager of Inter, who was expensively poached by Saudi side Al-Hilal, does not take home the same coin as El Cholo, who has been at the helm at Atlético since 2011. At this point, Simeone in effect is the club, who have won two league titles, two Big Vases, and a Copa del Rey in one of the club’s most successful ever eras. Big/Bigger Cup, though, has eluded Simeone and co, with Atleti twice narrowly beaten by their neighbours, in the 2014 and 2016 finals. On Tuesday, Simeone’s side took a huge step towards ending that drought, winning their first match at the Camp Nou since 2006 to take a seismic 2-0 lead back to Madrid for their quarter-final second leg. This was a classic Simeone masterclass: despite Barcelona being reduced to 10 men in the first half, the Catalans finished with nearly 60% possession and more than three times the number of shots on goal, as stubborn Atleti prevailed. Not everyone likes Simeone and his style; lord knows he’s not the most popular man in England after his 1998 antics. But try to find us anyone who doesn’t respect him. “No, we are not in the semis,” soothed Simeone afterwards. “No, we are not in the semis. I like to prepare with an advantage but from a place of humility, we know we will have a difficult game at home.”

MOVING THE GOALPOSTS

In the latest extract from our sister newsletter, Alma Mana’o, the American Samoa captain, reflects on their journey from a 21-0 defeat in 1998 to a place in the final round of Women’s World Cup qualification.

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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Unai Emery has channelled the spirit of Aretha Franklin by urging his Aston Villa to RESPECT Bigger Vase opponents Bologna. “If you are not respecting the competition, if you are not focusing 100%, you are close to being out,” he parped. “And I have a lot of experiences with these situations.”

After GWC failure and FA Cup woes at Southampton, Riccardo Calafiori is pleased to be back to winning ways with Arsenal. “This chance to play three days later rather than just stay home and think about it [was welcome],” admitted the Italian after the 1-0 win at Sporting.

Calafiori’s Italy teammate Gianluigi Donnarumma has branded reports that the players demanded a bonus to qualify for the GWC as hurtful. “As captain, I never went to ask the Italian national team for a single euro,” he sobbed.

And whether it is leaning over advertising hoardings or desperately pleading with Thomas Tuchel to take him to the GWC, Harry Maguire has never played hard to get. “I’m desperate to go, in whatever role the manager would want; whether that’s starting or deciding games late on,” he roared. “I still believe, even at my age [er, 62], I’m arguably one of the best defenders in the world in both boxes.”

STILL WANT MORE?

Doing the 92: how football changed during David Marples’s odyssey.

Roll up, roll up for John Brewin’s Bigger Cup review.

“It is a mark of where the team is that on an oddly tension-free night in Paris there were reasons to be pleased, but also not to be pleased about being pleased.” Barney Ronay on Liverpool’s beatdown by PSG.

Before Forest face a tough European test at Porto, Ben Fisher explains why things could be looking up thanks to a certain New Zealander.

And like most fans in April, Cambridge and Spurs have Max Rushden fretting about ups and downs in May.

MEMORY LANE

To May 2004 and halcyon memories for Porto, as a 19-year-old Carlos Alberto – who opened the scoring – carries a ball under his shirt, chased by some club suit, with a champagne bottle flying through the air after their 3-0 Big Cup final victory over Monaco in Gelsenkirchen.

RECOMMENDED ORDERING

We’ll be giving away copies of the Classic Football Shirts book soon. To get you in the mood, here’s a clip of Big Website’s visit to the shop in Manchester and some chat about Jorge Campos. You’ve got to love that retro polyester. And if you want to pre-order a copy from the Guardian Bookshop, you can do so here.

‘THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS IS THE NAME OF A BAND. IT’S NOT A FACT’