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TOO MUCH PERSPECTIVE

Another night in Bigger Cup and the hopes and dreams of another two teams from The Best League In The World™ were brought to an end in varying degrees of ignominy. Of the six teams that advanced to this season’s Round of Arsenal, only two (including Arsenal) made it into the quarter-finals. This state of affairs has prompted all manner of existential angst for assorted Premier League cheerleaders. Never mind the fact that Barcelona are simply much better than Newcastle, or that Spurs have been complete bobbins for the best part of three seasons, the media needs a narrative. Thus, the mass exodus of English top-flight clubs from the last 16 must mean something. And so it has come to pass that an army of chin-stroking statto types who in previous cycles have mused that the likes of Paris Saint-Germain couldn’t hack it in Bigger Cup because their domestic league isn’t competitive enough, have now decided the reason so many Premier League sides hit the bricks is because the English top flight is just too darned competitive.

While Newcastle more than held their own against Barça for the opening three halves of their tie, their latest Bigger Cup campaign came disastrously unstuck in the fourth. Having failed to capitalise on an uncharacteristically diabolical Barcelona performance at St James’ Park, Eddie Howe’s team came from behind twice at Camp Nou before conceding a penalty on the stroke of half-time. At that point, the wheels didn’t so much come off as spontaneously liquefy, regroup T-2000-style into a sentient puddle and mail a Get Well Soon card to the chassis from a beach in Ibiza. “Our performance dropped – that was very clear,” parped Howe in his postmortem of a 7-2 humiliation. “The first four goals you can’t concede. To concede two from regulation set-plays, from one free-kick and one corner, I can’t be impressed.” With their mackem mates from Sunderland due in Toon on Sunday, Howe and his players will have little time to dwell on this bruising defeat if they are avoid extending their winless run in Wear-Tyne league derbies to an inglorious 11 games.

With a massive six-pointer against Nottingham Forest looming at the weekend, Tottenham also exited Bigger Cup, albeit with their players having finally notched up their first win under Igor Tudor at the sixth time of asking. While it would be something of an exaggeration to say they went out of Bigger Cup with their heads held high, they at least saw off largely uninterested opposition without shipping three goals and a goalkeeper inside the opening 17 minutes. Small steps, etc and so on. “Now, every game is a final for us,” said Xavi Simons, who put in one of his better performances in a Spurs shirt to help his side exit the competition with a modicum of dignity. “Not only Sunday, but it starts on Sunday and we have to keep this momentum.”

Following last Sunday’s disappointing draw against Spurs, Simons’ compatriot Arne Slot will also be hoping his team can build on the momentum of the absolute hiding they dished out to Galatasaray at Anfield on Wednesday night to help put speculation about his future to bed. Liverpool scored four, missed a penalty, had two goals disallowed and missed several glorious chances in a match Hugo Ekitiké said they “could have won 10-0”. Any chance Gala had of laying a glove on their hosts evaporated when Victor Osimhen was forced off with a fractured arm, while his replacement Noa Lang sliced his thumb open in a gruesome freak accident involving an advertising hoarding. Mercifully, the Dutchman has since undergone surgery and been spotted cheerfully posing for a selfie with his nurses while laughing off the incident by declaring “sh1t happens”. It certainly does.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Daniel Harris from 5.45pm GMT for hot Bigger Vase minute-by-minute updates from Midtjylland 1-1 Nottingham Forest (agg: 2-1), while Scott Murray is on deck for Aston Villa 3-0 Lille (agg: 4-0) at 8pm.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“You try to press a player, but the ball is already with someone else. After a while, you’re just running … You don’t even know who you’re chasing” – Newcastle’s Joelinton describes the brain-melting challenge of playing in midfield against a rampant Barcelona.

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FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

“On reading that Watford beat Wrexham in the bits and bobs [yesterday’s Football Daily email edition], can somebody please confirm that Marc Bola has a T Rex-based chant? Even if they only bang a gong when he scores!” – D Man.

“Has Max Dowman single-handedly retired the concept of the ‘schoolboy error’?” – Jon Algar

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … D Man. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Liam Rosenior has revealed that Chelsea have found the mole leaking team news. “We know [who it is],” Rosenior cheered, stroking his new moleskin wallet and matching gloves. “And it’s not come from any place of malicious intent to me or the team. We’ve dealt with the situation.”

Bad news for Real Madrid: Thibaut Courtois will miss both legs of their Bigger Cup quarter-final against Bayern Munich after suffering leg-twang at the Etihad on Tuesday.

Mehdi Taj, the president of the Iranian football federation, says the team will “boycott the United States but not the World Cup” this summer. Mexico has said it is open to hosting Iran’s matches.

Premier League and EFL clubs will be more vulnerable to unfair dismissal claims from sacked managers and released players from next year after changes to employment law.

Virgil van Dijk says the bond between the Liverpool players and fans is intact after their hammering of Galatasaray. “In all these years at Liverpool I’ve never ever questioned them and I still don’t,” he cheered.

QPR midfielder Harvey Vale, a former England Under-19 captain, has been included in the Republic of Ireland squad for the upcoming World Cup playoff semi-final against the Czech Republic.

The man who called him up, Ireland manager Heimir Hallgrimsson, has signed a new contract until the end of the Euro 2028 campaign.

VAR latest: Uefa have summoned representatives of Europe’s big five leagues to a summer meeting to discuss how to reduce the impact of football’s biggest mood hoover. 

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

Join Max Rushden and the Football Weekly pod squad as they analyse the midweek action.

STRIKING GAMBIT

On Tuesday night, Erling Haaland became the first player to celebrate a Champions League goal with a thousand-yard stare. He looks hopelessly out of love with football right now, with Manchester City falling so far short of the standards they set in his first two seasons at the club, but at least another sport is getting him excited. Haaland has become a significant investor in a new world chess championship.

Haaland wore a Norway Chess cap when he arrived at the London Stadium for Manchester City’s game with West Ham last weekend. He said that his investment in the Total Chess World Championship Tour, which will have an annual prize pool of $2.7m (£2m), was part of his ambition to help chess become a bigger and more spectator-friendly sport. “Chess is an incredible game,” he said. “It sharpens your mind, and there are clear similarities to football. You have to think quickly, trust your instincts, and think several moves ahead.”

There is one difference between the two sports that Haaland might appreciate: you don’t have to play against Real Madrid.

MOVING THE GOALPOSTS

In today’s edition of our sister newsletter, Felicity Cousins on the women who grew up in the 1970s, 80s and 90s loving football but who had little or no opportunity to play. 

STILL WANT MORE?

John Brewin’s Champions League review focuses on a honking week for the Greatest League in the World™.

Midtjylland’s innovators are aiming to give Forest that sinking feeling, writes Will Unwin.

Record crowds, empty seats and the Matildas in a dream final: has the Women’s Asian Cup been a success? Jack Snape reports.

Inter Miami’s Concacaf exit is a reminder that time rolls on for Lionel Messi, writes Jeff Rueter.

‘Unjust and ridiculous’: Senegalese football fans bewildered by loss of Afcon title. Eromo Egbejule on the reaction in Abidjan.

Mathys Tel is feeling Spurs unity growing after dressing-room chats, he tells David Hytner.

MEMORY LANE

19 March 2000: Thierry Henry celebrates after scoring what proved to be the winning goal in his first north London derby. Arsenal’s 2-1 victory, which came on this day 26 years ago, was the first of eight consecutive league wins that enabled them to leapfrog Leeds and finish in second place. Henry’s penalty, the first of his Arsenal career, came after eight different players had missed from the spot for Arsenal that season. (Patrick Vieira would later make it nine in the Uefa Cup final defeat to Galatasaray.) The other goals were scored by Spurs striker Chris Armstrong, who unwittingly headed Arsenal ahead at one end before equalising at the other. Henry went on to take 23 penalties in the Premier League for Arsenal; he scored them all.

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