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THE STYLE COUNCIL

Following Liverpool’s win over Lille to qualify for the knockout stages of Bigger Cup last season, Arne Slot famously revealed that his father had been less than impressed. “There have definitely not been many [Liverpool] games where he has said: ‘Oh I like what I saw!’” sighed Slot of his old man, who presumably views a 4-0 win with the same grim Dutch disdain one might reserve for a lukewarm stroopwafel. This past weekend it became apparent that the apple hasn’t fallen too far from the tree, as the Liverpool head coach told hacks that even he isn’t particularly impressed with the quality of football in the Premier League, although the nature of Arsenal’s attritional Six Nations win over Chelsea may have won him over.

Offering the kind of ringing endorsement that will have caused the English top flight’s many cheerleaders at Sky and TNT to blanch, Slot said that “most of the games I see in the Premier League are not for me a joy to watch”, although he did quickly caveat his heretical criticism of The Best League In The World™ by pointing out: “It’s always interesting because it is so competitive and that is what makes this league great.” While some fans labelled Slot a hypocrite – given his own team’s contribution to the malaise – many more interpreted his comments as a coded swipe at Arsenal’s over-reliance on the “dark arts” of the set piece.

“First of all, you have to accept it,” Slot sighed, having seen his team score the first three of the five goals they spanked past West Ham from corners. “I think it’s mainly here in the Premier League. It’s the new reality. If I watch other leagues I don’t think there’s so much emphasis on set pieces. If I watch an Eredivisie game, I see goals being disallowed and fouls on goalkeepers being given and I’m like: ‘Wow, that’s a big difference.’ Here, you can almost hit a goalkeeper in his face and the referee still says: ‘Just go on.’ Do I like it? My football heart doesn’t like it.”

He isn’t alone. Only the flintiest of football hearts are gladdened by the sight of stop-start games in which it can take officials up to five minutes to decide whether or not a ball struck an ageing Burnley striker’s arm, set-piece routines increasingly resemble WWE Royal Rumbles and a “high-intensity” press is often just 11 men sprinting headlong into a brick wall of low-block pragmatism. Slot’s honesty is a refreshing, if not a little jarring and surprising, splash of cold Heineken. In a league that markets itself as a non-stop adrenaline shot of pure raw and unfiltered Barclays, Liverpool’s head coach has dared to point out that the emperor is not only naked, but currently wrapping both arms around a goalkeeper before bundling him into the back of his own net at a corner. The question now is whether the league’s power-brokers are listening.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“[I am] completely, utterly opposed to any kind of discrimination or prejudice, or ignorance, or stupidity. If my player did not respect these principles, which are mine and Benfica’s as well, then that player’s career [under me and at the club] will come to an end” – José Mourinho clarifies where he stands on Gianluca Prestianni, if the player is found guilty of racially abusing Real Madrid’s Vinícius Júnior.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

Less than two weeks between hoping that ‘courage and confidence can arrest Tottenham’s slide’ and saying: ‘We are lacking when we attack, we lack the quality to score the goal. We are lacking in the middle to run and we are lacking behind to stay there to suffer and not concede the goal. So, an amazing situation. Amazing.’ Spurs are just like if the late Byzantine court had a football club, but with marginally fewer ritual blindings” – Noble Francis.​​​​

If the Spurs caretaker manager’s post-game assessment of the loss to Fulham is accurate, his club may have missed a huge opportunity by not hiring a tutor instead of a Tudor” – Peter Oh.

On Saturday a group of four old (very old) friends and I attended the Hearts v Aberdeen match at Tynecastle. Many years ago we were all regular Hearts turnstile pushers, but as time passed we all now live in widely separated locales. However, once a year, we still make a point of booking tickets, hospitality and an overnight stay in Edinburgh, just for old time’s sake. (Our journeys do indeed make use of trains, planes and automobiles. Oh, and a coach.) This year we pushed the boat out and booked rooms in the bijou little hotel within the Tynecastle fortress itself. On Sunday morning one friend and I had already checked out and were waiting for the others to appear. Out of nowhere a man in a Hearts jumper came through reception – ‘Can I help you boys?’ [Boys!] We explained we were just waiting on friends. He continued: ‘While you’re hanging on, do you want to come and have a look at the changing rooms?’ So he took us to the changing rooms, showers, medical centre, warm-up room, etc … and then out to the pitch. He took pictures of us in the tunnel and sitting in the dugout! For two old men who have supported Hearts through 50-plus years of disappointment and rare glory, this was almost unbelievable. I had to keep pinching myself. At one point he said: ‘They don’t have a big communal bath like in the old days. There’s showers instead. But there is one single bath still available for whoever wants it and gets it first. We call it “The Cammy Devlin Bath”, on account of the number of red cards he gets!’” – Ken Muir.

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Ken Muir, who gets a Football Weekly mug or scarf. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

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GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN ?

Neil Warnock has returned to management, baby! Yes, the 77-year-old will take charge of Torquay’s National League South clash with Farnborough on Tuesday as caretaker after Paul Wotton was hoofed through the door marked Do One following the 5-0 home thrashing by Chelmsford City. The Yorkshireman is so well-travelled that, in his 20-plus managerial stints, this will be his second time in the dugout at Plainmoor. His first, 33 years ago, lasted only nine games. Warnock has been working as an advisor to Torquay for the past two years and we can’t confirm if he advised them to hand him the reins as interim, but we guess he didn’t shy away from giving his opinion on why an experienced promotion-specialist would be well-suited to mind shop. Torquay have dropped to fourth in the league after a bad run, but they’re still only two points off Hornchurch, in second. Could he get another promotion on his CV?

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Iran’s participation at the World Cup is in doubt after the US- and Israel-led war on the country. “What is certain is that after this attack, we cannot be expected to look forward to the World Cup with hope,” explained the president of Iran’s football federation, Mehdi Taj. Fifa secretary general Mattias Grafströhm said the conflict was being followed closely. “It’s too early to comment, but we will monitor developments around the world that could affect the [GWC].”

Meanwhile, England have had reassurances they are safe in Turkey but remain in close contact with the authorities about the developing conflict in the Middle East as they prepare to face Ukraine in a Women’s World Cup qualifier on Tuesday.

Arsenal Women experienced huge growth in commercial and matchday revenue in 2024-25 to record a club-record profit of £22,000 after tax, but remain reliant on funds from the parent club (£11.9m last season).

Paramount’s bid for Warner Bros has created uncertainty over Bigger Cup TV coverage in the UK.

Jurriën Timber says Arsenal’s players can definitely feel the nerves in the Emirates crowd and must find a way to handle it as they chase a first title since 2004. “Of course you feel it, especially at the end,” he howled. “I think we stopped playing a bit, which was unnecessary – especially with a man up. It is something we need to work on.” Maybe Mikel Arteta can get a soundtrack of fans’ wild screeches and broadcast it in training.

Igor Tudor has really come out fighting for his Tottenham players after the 2-1 defeat at Fulham left the club mired in a relegation battle. “We are lacking when we attack, we lack the quality to score the goal. We are lacking in the middle to run and we are lacking behind to stay there to suffer and not concede the goal,” he honked. Tudor also accused his players of lacking “brain”, adding: “An amazing situation. Amazing.”

The Premier League has deleted a social media disgrace post which appeared to mock keeper Guglielmo Vicario following a fan backlash and complaint by the club. And in further Spurs news, the club has ben fined €30,000 by Uefa over fans’ “racist or discriminatory behaviour” during a 2-0 win at Eintracht Frankfurt.

Two people have been charged by the police after a series of pyro-related incidents at Nottingham Forest’s Bigger Vase home tie against Fenerbahçe.

And the winners of the Old Firm derby? Hearts.

STILL WANT MORE?

It’s a crazy world but some things never change, like 10 talking points from the weekend’s Premier League action always arriving on a Monday.

Jonathan Wilson on Spurs’ sorry slide to relegation candidates.

Barney Ronay on the fun of watching Arsenal’s late title stagger.

Harry Kane’s 44th and 45th goals of the season helped Bayern to Klassiker bragging rights, and effectively ended Borussia Dortmund’s hopes of honours this season, reports Andy Brassell.

The joy of Lamine Yamal, as told by Sid Lowe.

An up-and-down week for Atalanta that took in “saving Italian football” with a barnstorming Bigger Cup comeback … ended with a flat defeat by Sassuolo, sighs Nicky Bandini.

Gary O’Neil has found his feet and a new tongue while safely navigating a tricky run of games at Strasbourg, reckons Luke Entwistle.

And if it’s an MLS weekend wrap you’re after then, hell yeah, we’ve got one of those too.

MEMORY LANE

16 February 2006: It’s Martin ‘Mad Dog’ Allen photographed by Tom Jenkins at Brentford’s training ground. We’re not sure why it says “pedal harder?” behind him. You’d like to think it was motivational but the question mark leaves room for ambiguity. Allen tried his best to inspire the team in his time in charge of the Bees, swimming in the River Tees before a 1–0 FA Cup fourth-round replay victory over Hartlepool in February 2005 and jumping naked into the Solent before Brentford’s 2–2 draw at Southampton in the following round. The Bees finished third in League One in 2005-06, three points off automatic promotion. Allen resigned after the club failed to go up in the playoffs, citing a lack of ambition from the board.

ANOTHER BIG SHOW FOR THE PEACE PRIZE