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One day in February 2021, Amy Goddard woke up and went for a run. On her return home she took a shower and then looked in the mirror before brushing her teeth. That is when she realised the left side of her face had dropped.

Goddard, who was playing for Crystal Palace semi-professionally in the Championship at the time, went to the hospital and was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy. The illness, which she had not heard of until her diagnosis, causes sudden and typically temporary weakness or paralysis of the muscles on one side of the face. The condition affects one in 70 people in their lifetime in the UK.

Goddard, who is now at WSL 2 side Southampton, says it was a “petrifying” time for her and that it not only affected her physically and mentally but also her football career.

Now fully recovered, the 27-year-old tells her story during Facial Palsy Awareness Week, which runs until Saturday, to help others. In particular she wants to highlight the mental health impact the illness and side-effects of the medication can have on Bell’s palsy patients. Not everyone experiences the side-effects, but the steroids affected Goddard’s mental health and she also worried that people would judge her appearance.

“It was really hard at that time, I have never been in such a dark place before,” she says. “I feel like the steroids made me feel alone. I have such a supportive family but it put me in a pit and I didn’t know how to get out of it. I had insomnia and I know that is an effect from the steroids but I didn’t realise how much I would be affected by it. Insomnia didn’t help because when you’re not sleeping, you are not recovering properly and you’re not thinking straight.

“People with facial palsy, it’s not that you are not beautiful or anything like that. In terms of how I was at the time, I went from being my normal self to having that and that is what I struggled with. My partner, Ewan, had to drag me out of the flat to make me go out for walks. I love being active [but] I was so paranoid even though no one would be looking at me and no one would be thinking anything of it. I didn’t like myself to be viewed in that way when walking down the street if people looked at me or judged me.”

Goddard says she was up some nights crying in the corner and that the side-effects took her by surprise. “When you take tablets you always know there is going to be an effect on something and it’s very individual in terms of your side-effects, but I was never made aware of the extent it could impact,” she says. “When I was experiencing these things, my partner did look into it and the fact that you can get insomnia and depression. I wasn’t aware of that.

“I genuinely never thought in a million years that I was going to feel that way. Even now I would be scared to go back to that place. I will be open and honest and say I have been having therapy sessions for that. I started it this season.”

Goddard spent three months out of football and then decided not to re-sign with Palace, instead joining Bridgwater United and later Oxford United in the third tier. She decided to drop into the National League in order to rebuild her confidence on the pitch, something that was “hard” as she had played in the top two flights of English football throughout her career.

She took two years building herself back up and then moved back into the Championship: “I got a full-time contract with Sunderland [in 2023] and then moved to Southampton two years later. It has been a whirlwind. Career-wise it is not what I planned but I always say to everyone: ‘Trust your own journey’ – and that is something I always stand by.”

Goddard signed for Southampton last July and as well as therapy she plays golf to blow off steam outside of football. She runs social media accounts to document her new hobby.

“It is helping with my mental state,” she adds. “Recovery is so important. Football is important and something I have sacrificed a lot of things for but at the same time having that bit outside does mentally prepare you and make sure you are ready to perform the next day.”

As well as highlighting awareness for the illness itself, it is the different elements patients have to deal with which is the lasting message Goddard wants to leave. “To realise it is not just a physical impact, it is the mental impact that can affect you,” she says. “Not to feel that you should feel bad with the way you are feeling, it is OK to not be OK. I know that is a very cliche thing to say but it is genuinely true.”

If you want to discuss anything raised in this piece please contact Facial Palsy UK on 0300 030 9333 or visit facialpalsy.org.uk.

Talking points

Debut dream for Pattinson: London City Lionesses defender Poppy Pattinson made her England senior debut in the Lionesses 6-1 win over Ukraine on Tuesday. The 25-year-old came on in the second half and gives England another option at left-back. Her first cap made her the 241st Lioness to play for the team.

Malard halts Ireland: The Republic of Ireland are aiming to qualify for their second World Cup but their campaign got off to a difficult start with France’s Melvine Malard spoiling the party at Tallaght Stadium. Captain Katie McCabe had put the home side 1-0 up but Manchester United forward Malard scored two goals in quick succession to secure a comeback win. “We can’t feel sorry for ourselves,” McCabe told RTE. “We have to move on quick.”

Recommended listening

Faye Carruthers is joined by Suzy Wrack, Sophie Downey, and Emma Sanders to review England’s emphatic 6-1 win over Ukraine, and look at the other results from this round of World Cup qualifying. Listen here.

Quote of the day

I’m committed to not only developing individually, but also supporting my teammates to fight for the results that this club expects and deserves. The city of Houston and its people have become my home and my community. With this contract extension, I’m happy to continue to call it home” – USWNT defender Avery Patterson on signing a multi-year extension with Houston Dash.

Still want more?

Iran’s women’s team refused to sing national anthem before their Asian Cup tie against South Korea. Watch the video here.

‘These women are prisoners’ – members of the Iranian diaspora in Australia spoke out against the regime to Samantha Lewis.

There have been calls for a lifetime ban for the Czech coach who filmed female footballers in changing room at FC Slovacko. Petr Vlachovsky was given a suspended prison sentence and a five-year domestic coaching ban.

Alessia Russo scored twice for England to spark Women’s World Cup qualifying win against Ukraine.

And Ally Sentnor’s goal helped US beat Canada to extend their dominant defensive record. Jeff Rueter watched the match.

Get in touch

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