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WHO’S NEXT?

Like a Christmas day can of John West tuna chunks for one with an accompanying bottle of champagne and war movie triple-bill chez Richard Keys, Tottenham Hotspur Football Club is the gift that keeps on giving. Like Gregory Peck’s crack commando unit attempting to silence the eponymous guns of Navarone, Spurs currently find themselves in an extremely high-stakes race against time only to be repeatedly thwarted at every turn by a mixture of internal sabotage, the at times unbearable burden of leadership and immense dissatisfaction among the rank and file. The mission? To escape an ignominious, financially ruinous slide into the Championship. The plan? A chaotic improvisation that suggests the club hierarchy are just making things up as they go along, one ill-judged managerial appointment at a time.

Having already seen (and paid) off Thomas Frank and Igor Tudor, Tottenham are now looking for their third head coach of a Premier League season that has just seven games remaining. Yet to win a top-flight match this year, they hover just one place and point above a drop zone they could well occupy by the time they travel to play their next match against Sunderland at the Stadium of Light. Should West Ham beat Wolves at home on Friday week, Spurs will be in the relegation zone for the first time this season going into their match on Wearside two days later. Following the shortest Tudor reign in British history unless you count that of the “nine-days queen” Lady Jane Grey, the powers that be at Tottenham simply have to get their next appointment right. With so much at stake, it must be heart-warming for fans to hear their club’s board appear to be acting with all the leadership of somebody who used to be cripplingly indecisive but now isn’t so sure.

Having been spotted in that there Big London on Saturday, Sean Dyche was presumed to be Tottenham’s new head coach of choice but insisted that he wasn’t in talks with the club to replace Tudor but was in town to drink pints of Guinness at the Seven Stars pub and make an appearance on Talksport. “I was in the pub just up the way near my place I’ve got down here and this guy goes: ‘Ah, you’re meant to be in talks with Spurs tonight?’,” he said on the wireless. “And I say: ‘I’m sat next to you having a pint of Guinness, so it’s unlikely – unless you work for Spurs!’.” While assorted club legends such as Ben Davies, Tim Sherwood, ‘Arry Redknapp and Chirpy the Cockerel have either been mentioned – or mentioned themselves – in connection with the fire-fighting role, the club seem hell-bent on appointing Roberto De Zerbi despite the reservations of three separate fan groups who are concerned by his very public backing of Mason Greenwood during his recent stint as Marseille manager.

Best known in England for doing a pretty good job at Brighton until he talked himself out of it the season before last, De Zerbi is believed to be interested in taking over at Spurs but would rather do so in the summer after somebody else has done the grunt-work of keeping them in the Premier League. However, it is being reported he is being offered all manner of tempting financial inducements if he takes the reins now. A highly volatile and combustible touchline presence whose managerial CV is punctuated with occasional incidents of insubordination, the Italian seems exactly the kind of calming presence Tottenham require as they attempt to silence the artillery that threatens their very Premier League survival and avoid the relegation so many rubberneckers crave.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“[The team] wasn’t showing disrespect for Bosnia or the Bosnian people. I’ve heard people say we were arrogant. There’s really no reason to be, we’ve missed the last two World Cups!” – Federico Dimarco, who was filmed fist-pumping in celebration with Italy teammates when Bosnia beat Wales in Cardiff, denies the Azzurri were being rude by, assumedly, thinking the Welsh would be tougher opposition.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

I’m delighted to hear of Mr Roy’s return to the touchline but it raises a question for me. As a philistine who only learned of his TBOF (two banks or four) in Friday’s Football Daily, I’m compelled to ask how it differs from fellow England alumnus Mike Bassett’s FFFR (four, four, flippin’ two)“ – Simon Riley.

A double doff of the cap to Big Paper’s Jonathan Wilson this weekend. Firstly, for pointing out that ‘in the 2018 World Cup semi-final, the clearest signal England were done for was Jordan Henderson gamely running shuttles as Luka Modric, Marcelo Brozovic and Ivan Rakitic knocked the ball round him’ a whole eight years before Tommy Tuchel picked him for the game against Uruguay. And, secondly, for hoping that most readers would know, or could be bothered to Google, what the ‘Gaia hypothesis’ is, in the very same piece. Never change, Wilson, never change” – Noble Francis.

So Tudor lasted 44 days at Spurs (with some compassionate extension). Bloody hell, that was shorter than Liz Truss’s tenure in charge of the government. At least he didn’t spaff £65bn in the process, so the experiment might be deemed a success if one sets the bar very very low” – Nigel Sanders.

I was playing Football Manager earlier today when I got offered the Tottenham job. I thanked them but declined the offer, hung up the phone and then returned to playing my game” – James Vortkamp-Tong.

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … Noble Francis. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

Listen up! It’s Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning and the rest of the Football Weekly pod squad with a look back at the weekend’s news and action. And you can watch the pod here if you like that kind of thing.

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JERMAIN MAN

Good luck to Jermain Defoe, who was handed the reins at National League side Woking on Sunday. The former Spurs striker took his first job in management after former Crazy Gang midfielder Neal Ardley was sent packing earlier this month. Woking say “a detailed recruitment process” found that the 43-year-old’s “values, leadership style and footballing philosophy best aligned with [the club’s] long-term vision”. With glowing references for his work at Rangers and in the Spurs academy, had he waited a day or two longer, he may have been in with a shot at the Tottenham job.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Cardiff’s claim for £104m in compensation from Nantes following the death of Emiliano Sala has been dismissed by a French court.

Amnesty International has warned that the Geopolitics World Cup risks becoming a “stage for repression”. The human rights organisation published a report on Monday – “Humanity Must Win” – calling on Fifa and the host countries, the USA USA USA, Canada and Mexico, to take urgent action to protect fans, players and other communities.

Martin Zubimendi, Piero Hincapie, Declan Rice, Bukayo Saka, Noni Madueke, William Saliba, Gabriel Magalhaes, Eberechi Eze [keep breathing – Football Daily Ed] Jurrien Timber and Leandro Trossard. That’s the (current) list of Arsenal players not available for their countries after a collective bout of international-duty knack.

Aware of the knowing looks, England boss Thomas Tuchel has spoken out over the withdrawals of Rice and Saka for Tuesday’s game against Japan. “Just to get the narrative straight, they wanted desperately to get involved but it just made no sense to take this risk. The risk for making it worse was clearly too big, they were both in discomfort, clearly in discomfort when we did the medical assessments,” he tooted.

Egypt’s national team director, Ibrahim Hassan, has cautioned Mohamed Salah against moving to Major League Soccer when he leaves Liverpool at the end of the season. “A move to MLS? He would be far too out of the spotlight. You won’t remember Salah any more than I remember [Lionel] Messi now; I don’t even try to watch him,” honked Hassan.

A new survey has found that 91% of fans believe football is better off without VAR. Who were the 9%?!

Kosovo are on the verge of making World Cup history as they prepare to face Turkey in their GWC playoff final. “[An] appearance in [the USA USA USA] would be historic, truly epochal,” roared Eroll Salihu, former secretary general of Kosovo’s federation. “This would be the realisation of a dream, for the generations who played in muddy fields and meadows to defend the honour and spirit of the sport.”

And former Celtic and Scotland hard man Scott Brown has been mutually consented through the Ayr door marked Do One.

GWC CALLOUT

If you live in one of the 16 cities in Mexico, Canada and the USA USA USA that will host GWC games this summer, Big Website wants to hear from you.

STILL WANT MORE?

It’s Monday, so here are your WSL talking points from the weekend’s action.

Here’s Barney Ronay on how England have not beaten a good side under Tuchel and no A-list players have emerged since the last World Cup. Meanwhile, Japan are on a high after recent wins over Brazil and, erm, Scotland and come to Wembley ready to impress, writes John Duerden.

Sid Lowe gets his chat on with Roberto Martínez, who describes Portugal as a “football school” and explains why he is ready to take risks in pursuit of World Cup glory.

Gabriel Zakuani, who played over 400 Football League games and captained the DRC, has helped his country recruit some top, top European-based talent before their first World Cup since 1974.

Belgium’s Jérémy Doku tore the USA USA USA to shreds on Saturday, with a defence counting on help that never came, writes Jeff Rueter.

Players are not covering the distances of old in the Premier League; it is not laziness but the necessity of adapting to the demands of an arduous campaign, writes Jonathan Wilson.

Will Unwin reports from the Exercise Stadium as the clock ticks for Harrogate to preserve their Football League status.

And Leicester are not giving up hope just yet, but a relegation playoff against a WSL2 side may be inevitable, reports Tom Garry from the King Power Stadium.

MEMORY LANE

9 August 1969: there’s a lot of talent in Manchester United’s two-man wall in the Division One match against Crystal Palace as Bobby Charlton and George Best line up for a free-kick. Charlton was on the scoresheet in an entertaining 2-2 draw.

‘SEASONS CHANGE’