It’s exactly this sort of thing, from RawSharkTest in the comments, that has brought this great game of ours to its knees.

RawSharkTest

29 August 2026 8:54am

Without wishing to be too incendiary in my language, I'm hoping for a favourable result for my team in their match later today.

The men’s transfer interactive is here, and the women’s transfer interactive is here. Your one-stop shop for all the transfer window deals.

Lucy Bronze does not stop. Her brain runs a hundred miles a minute. She does not need traditional entertainment. “I’m not good at watching TV – I can’t sit still,” Bronze says, sitting sort-of still, on a bench shielded from the wind, overlooking Chelsea’s training pitch at Cobham. “Someone recently asked me what I listen to in the car and someone else jumped in and was like: ‘Lucy has her own podcast going on in her own head.’ I don’t listen to music, I don’t listen to podcasts, I just have a million thoughts going on.”

Bronze’s late ADHD and autism diagnosis help it make sense, but her mum had always suspected she might have one of the conditions, so it wasn’t a surprise. “Naomi Girma said to me: ‘I’ve never met someone who trains so hard in the gym with zero music on; it does not make sense.’ I was like: ‘It’s literally in my head, I don’t need anything else.’”

Andoni Iraola has said it is more important for Liverpool’s forwards to exhaust themselves than perform for 90 minutes as he prepares to make an “emotional” Premier League bow at Anfield.

The Liverpool head coach hopes his attacking options will be improved by the arrival of Bradley Barcola from Paris Saint-Germain and another winger before Tuesday’s deadline, with only Victor Muñoz added to his front line so far. The Basque coach has outlined the demands he will put on his forwards as they adapt to a new era at Liverpool.

• Liverpool v Nottingham Forest, Saturday, 12.30pm

• Coventry v Hull, Saturday, 3pm

• Bournemouth v Everton, Saturday, 3pm

• Tottenham v Newcastle, Saturday, 5.30pm

• Chelsea v Brighton, Sunday, 2pm

• Leeds v Brentford, Sunday, 2pm

• Sunderland v Fulham, Sunday, 2pm

• Man Utd v Ipswich Town, Sunday, 4.30pm

• Aston Villa v Arsenal, Monday, 8pm

There you have the Premier League fixtures to come over the weekend, including Aston Villa v Arsenal on Monday.

Here you have the Premier League fixture that has already happened: Jacob Steinberg’s report of Manchester City 4-1 Crystal Palace (Haaland 2, Cherki 2):

This week Central Cee launched his new Premier League song, called The Team. It owes its existence to a youth-centred, fist-bumping corporate tie-in with Coca-Cola, the press release for which appears to have involved a man in golf-casual clothing frowning at his computer screen for half an hour before typing “cool urban street words, what are?” into the AI search box, then nipping off for a quick brain-bowl strategy lunch with Roger from the Bluesky Synergy hub.

The song is really good, because Central Cee is really good. He’s super-smart with words, funny and snappy, but also surprisingly tender and raw.

And yes, this is an oh-no-dad’s-talking-about-rap moment. You can just scroll down if you like. The whole thing moves on to Cole Palmer very quickly, why he’s both the best English footballer and very easy to love currently, for various reasons.