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The prosecution: Martin

I am not a germaphobe but I do get freaked out when I see bits of Debbie lying around the place

My girlfriend Debbie leaves small piles of her nails, hair and contact lenses around the flat and I find it gross.

When she takes her contact lenses out, she chucks them on the floor. When she brushes her hair, she lets it fall to the floor and gather in little hairballs. When she is done with her manicure, she picks off the colour and throws the paint on the floor until she sweeps it up again when she cleans the flat. When she breaks a nail, or picks her nails, she puts them in a little pile and leaves them until she clears them up, which could be a few days later or when she does the weekly clean-up.

I just think: why wouldn’t you throw them down the loo or in the bin straight away? What is the point of letting little bits of grossness collect around the flat? I don’t understand it.

Debbie wears hair extensions and I come back from work to see little hairballs blowing across the floor like tumbleweed. One time, I thought I saw a spider crawling around – but it was a hairball. With the contact lenses, they stick to the wooden floors and surfaces. Debbie pulls them out of her eyes and drops them anywhere.

We share the cleaning in our flat but even when you vacuum, it doesn’t pick up the contact lenses. I often have to scrape them off surfaces because they are dried up and crispy.

It’s also really gross to think of Debbie leaving her eye, scalp and nail germs everywhere. I am not a germaphobe, but I do get freaked out when I see bits of her all around the place. I love how she looks, but I don’t want to see the remnants of her manicure weeks later.

The nail clippings and nail varnish gross me out the most. It reminds me of an old witch, saving her nail clippings to create a curse or potion. Debbie is gorgeous and not at all witch-like, but it’s an issue of hygiene.

I have had friends at the flat before and they’ve spotted one of her contact lenses on the dining room table and asked what it was. It’s not a big deal, but it’s just gross. I suggested getting a little bowl where she could put all her dried contacts, but she just laughed. If she won’t do that, Debbie should throw her old contacts and nail clippings straight in the bin or down the toilet.

The defence: Debbie

The way Martin talks about me, you’d think I was Miss Havisham. I’m just a busy woman

The “little piles” Martin is going on about are not permanent monuments. I do clean them up eventually. If I brush my hair before work and a few strands collect in the corner until the evening, or collate over the weekend into little hairballs, I don’t think that constitutes a national emergency.

Same with contact lenses. Sometimes, after a 12-hour day, my priority is simply getting them out of my eyes. I put them on the side, but Martin says I throw them everywhere and acts like I am discarding medical waste all over the flat.

Martin only moved in three months ago, so he shouldn’t be telling me how to live. Before that, I was perfectly happy in my flat and survived the apparent horror of occasionally leaving a contact lens on the side or some hair on the bathroom floor.

The way Martin speaks about me, you would think I am rotting in the corner of the flat like Miss Havisham. I am just a busy woman who sometimes leaves traces of herself around while getting ready.

Everyone sheds hair. Mine is more noticeable because I have extensions and long hair, unlike Martin, who is bald. However, he leaves beard hairs glued to the sink, so he’s not perfect.

Martin loves my hair extensions, manicures and appearance in general, but seems disgusted by any evidence that these things require upkeep. Nails chip and hair sheds. If he wants a girlfriend who looks immaculate while also leaving behind no evidence of being a woman, then he should be with a hologram.

Nobody apart from Martin has ever suggested I live in filth and I am not unhygienic. I clean up after myself and I probably do most of the cleaning, just not on the schedule that Martin wants.

Ultimately, this is less about hygiene and more about Martin being oddly disturbed by ordinary bodily processes. If the greatest hardship that he faces in life is occasionally having to look at a strand of my hair on the floor, then I would say he is doing fairly well.

The jury of Guardian readers

Beyond the question of cleanliness, human droppings like this give off bad vibes. This sort of thing is a form of “visual static”, which disturbs the harmony of a home. Yes to the bowl; no to the droppings.
Kirk, 66

There is a time and a place for everything and personal hygiene belongs in the bathroom and in front of the mirror, not throughout the flat.
John, 78

Martin seems inexperienced at sharing a home. Shed hair is easy to overlook – it accumulates gradually before becoming noticeable. If Debbie eventually cleans up after herself and isn’t leaving dirty dishes, food or laundry lying around, then stray hair, nail clippings and lenses are trifles rather than unforgivable offences.
Aditi, 31

Martin should be able to live in a flat with his girlfriend without worrying about tripping over her hair extensions, stepping on nail clippings and swallowing rogue, dried-up contact lenses. However, by leaving beard trimmings in the sink, he is throwing stones in a glass house.
Susanne 51

Being busy isn’t an excuse in this case. They should each do their part: Debbie could clip her nails and take her contact lenses out in the bathroom and bin them immediately; and Martin could clean his beard hair from the sink – he’s being a bit of a hypocrite.
Ana, 30

Now you be the judge

In our online poll, tell us: should Debbie shed her bad habits?

The poll closes on Wednesday 8 July at 9am BST

Last week’s results

Teddy doesn’t like his partner telling him he has food in his beard. We asked: is she right tell him or she should stop?

96% of you said yes – Teddy is guilty
4% of you said no – Teddy is innocent