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I met Harley at the Adelaide Fringe festival in 2020. We were sharing a venue in the Garden of Unearthly Delights; I was doing my standup show, he was performing in a group circus show. I was all set to move to the UK later that year to become a West End star (or something), so I wasn’t looking for a relationship.

One night I sat in on the circus show and, when I saw Harley in action, I was smitten. About halfway in he performed this stunning rope routine and there was something fundamentally sexy about him rolling around in the air, shirtless and sweaty, coiling and unfurling that rope around him. Obviously, I thought it was really cool art etc, but also, you know – hot.

When we met in the shared dressing room after the show, I just assumed he was straight. Later we got talking in the artist bar and I casually mentioned that I was going to a Disney-themed night at the local gay bar, Mary’s Poppin. I was delighted when Harley said he’d like to join me – sending a very strong “not straight” signal – and I was further encouraged when his circus friends politely declined to come along, presumably to give us some space.

When we arrived, drag queens were busting out Disney tunes on stage and I was excited that this handsome, masculine circus acrobat seemed interested in me. We muddled our way through some awkward get-to-know-you conversation and some cute giggling, then were interrupted by an annoying stranger who kept talking to us about how he was studying psychology and thought Harley clearly had daddy issues because I was so much older than him (rude!). Eventually he took a hint and left us alone, and Harley and I got to sharing stories about our lives, our families and our passion for what we do.

It finally reached a point where I couldn’t wait any longer. With a banger from Wicked playing in the background, I initiated our first kiss … and Harley kissed me back. Which was really very nice of him.

Everything would have been perfect except that this was March 2020 and the world was going to shit. The week after our kiss, Covid cancelled pretty much everything, including that year’s Melbourne comedy festival. After my fringe run finished I flew to Brisbane – even though the comedy festival there had been cancelled, too – and spent the week in hotel lockdown, simultaneously losing my mind at the news and feeling giddy whenever I thought about Harley.

Before I left Adelaide, I’d drunkenly sent him a text message which read, “HARLEY MANN YOU MAKE ME HAPPY AND I’M GOING TO MISS YOU A LOT.” His first reply was “All caps … very yelly”, but then followed up with: “I’m going to miss you too and look forward to you getting back to Melbourne.”

When I finally did make it home to Melbourne, we got stuck into falling in love. This proved to be a wonderful distraction from the end of the world. I was confused from experiencing the horror about what the pandemic was doing to society and the excitement and joy of getting to know this brilliant new person, all at the same time.

I think I realised this wasn’t some fringe/pandemic fling when, one night during lockdown, we were having a (definitely illegal) lounge room disco in his share house.

There was a moment when I looked across the dancefloor and saw Harley smiling back at me, dancing and laughing with everyone, and I just knew he was the one. I didn’t know anything else about what was going to happen to the world or what my life was going to look like anytime soon; all I knew was this passionate, sweet, kind and funny guy had come into my life out of nowhere, and I felt so incredibly lucky to have him by my side.

We’ve recently celebrated our sixth anniversary. The nature of what we do means we spend a fair amount of time apart. I spent six months in Tasmania shooting Deadloch in 2022, then Harley relocated to far north Queensland for a job for a couple of years, plus we’re both regularly touring all over the country and the world – but somehow we’ve managed to make it work. We trust each other, even if we’re not always sure of what we’re doing. We always return to the idea that yes, we do love each other very much, and we’re in this for the long haul.

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